Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
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pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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