Christians are straight up FREAKS
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize