Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize