even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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