So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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