So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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