nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize