the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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