I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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