I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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