I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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