OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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