U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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