the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
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When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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