My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please, let me fuck your mom
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize