the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize