I'm going to jail i love you
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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