And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize