I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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