dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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