Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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