If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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