Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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