He uses pillows to masturbate.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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