i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize