I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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