You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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