Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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