Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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