I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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