If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize