I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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