i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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