so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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