Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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