Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people are normalizing furries
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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