So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize