I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize