so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize