they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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