I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Do vagina's smell?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize