And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize