I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize