i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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