My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize