Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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