apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize