there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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