he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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