(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
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also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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